Family... One of the most important F Words to me

Updated: Aug 21, 2020

Today my Great- Grandma would have been 99 years young. 99 years jazzy. 99 years virtuous. 99 years dedicated. 99 years loving. 99 years caring and 99 years BLESSED!!!


June15, 2018, my family lost our matriarch (an older woman who is powerful within a family). I remember being a kid, picking up the phone to call my great- grandma. She always set the tone and atmosphere for her phone calls by answering "Praise the Lord". How could you say anything bad after that greeting? We went to church 5 out of 7 days per week. She made sure that the entire family, extended family and children in the neighborhood went to church, were saved and had some form of spirituality in their lives. She taught us about prayer, faith and love.


She was my first real-life example of a successful, black marriage. She and my grandpa (RIP) showed each other real, unwavering and genuine love. They were affectionate. Even as seniors, they went on dates. They traveled together and took us with them. NaNa and PaPa never called each other any names other than their birth names and "Dear". I try to mimic those same qualities in my marriage.


HONEST SIDE BAR: The death of a family member always brings out the best or worst in family. When Grandma died, family members fought and argued everyday until the funeral (No, it wasn't over money like the movies- that was the peaceful part). Most weren't speaking to each other the day of the funeral. THIS WAS THE EYE OPENER FOR ME. I WANTED TO HONOR HER IN LIFE AND DEATH. I had to forgive some family who pissed me off while Granny was ill and repair some broken relationships that were valuable to me. I needed to heal.


Nana, thank you for showing me how to love and how to forgive, how to speak my mind and speak up when I see something or someone being treated unfairly. Thank you for always supporting me no matter what and for showing me how important FAMILY is. Thank you for showing me how to bake cornbread and a cake from scratch. Thank you for teaching me that there is power in my silence (I'm still working on this one honey, LOL). I strive to possess half of your grace and class. Rest well Queen!!! We love and miss you...Happy heavenly birthday!


Have you ever lost someone close to you? Are you still grieving or have you made peace with it? Remember that your Effit Girl Fam is here for you and that it is okay to cry. Tears help the heart heal... Is there a family member(s) that you are not on the best of terms with? Anyone that you aren't speaking to? If so, make peace with your family Effit Girls, it is beneficial to your personal growth... Trust me y'all, we are on this journey together. I am still in the process of forgiving!


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